MocMISC1_0021is
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A REPUBLICAN PRAYER.
Our wonderful and wobbly Warren,
+fear old Ug of all us G. 0. P. pome-
; ra.nate 1,; thou who in in 1920 wert
:o -m lar among 10 millions or more,
nio-st of whom are now quite sore;
:v thv sorry -and sallow -faced sin-
-Ilers, corile to thee in joint session of
both branches, of our busted party to
-i --k for 1hel ief which we are greatly
in neer; of at this itlnle.
When we speak of two branches
G -r our political pumpkin we mean
-the former, Progressives --the Ted-
c►f l 919 ---Bull Mooses if you
on the one hand, and our old
►,g of �;tandpatt rs such as senator
t,t,dge. "Unc-le Jae" Cannon and hard
js of that like on the other hand
.'rtj it. Nvas these two factions that
ased in 1920, tied tails together as
it. were, in order to bring about your
election a tid the consequent a,ttain-
ioent of pie --which, by the way, we
-should be getting a good deal more
re<?ly a -t this time.
Pie --pie is our Name, and plums--
(, ), what a game. Honorable Leader,
1 i ng of, r1 Dost of pie -hungry and
pluni-eating politicians, we come to
thee on bended knee, in ample humiw
lily, with oceans of stupidity, to
obtain more pie and political plums.
en «s u 1Ziggr's foot flattetieth it -
1 f in 'the , mud we fall upon our G.
P. tan}niies before thee. The Demo-
crats Say thou art kicking thy Wn-
pawn promises around and devouring
t11y 1990 vows even as our colored
:t t•ethren swallowet'n-vatemelon
,ids in September. They
>aV thy whisperings around
so unc;ells like the escaping steam
ranz It defe,.-Ail e boiler, and that thy
frown witis•ereth little republican
count-eitanoes like unto an August gun
withering; cabbage leaves. Dear old
be -u boide Bailiff. if thou dost not
mend tihy ways a bit and cease blow-
ing hot and cold and hand out more
pie i.o the faithful, we'll he dax'ned
i f wa v,•on't believe what the Demo-
crats scay.
We cclrfess, Mighty Master, that
we are about as sorry a lot of sin-
ners azs ever wore tin roosters in their
hats, nvirched in a torch light pro-
cession and soaked their carcasses
with sed ticker, but in 1920 we en-
trusted political and economical
-fortunes with thee, we "looked forward
to the�t,-�� l old days when we could
go in and out before tree to the pie
counter. Since thou didst win the
victory in 1920 as easy as letting a
purty gal lean on one's shoulder, the
mere mention of thy name caused all
us pie seekers to shout for joy. Even
as the smell of itch grease %_
A Sunda v School class, so did we
Ul inlc than would disp-eis.e Democrats
from Washington. We thought thou
would preside at the pie counter with
great dignity, and we had hoped to
6a on hand at every meal. We dream-
ed of the time when thou would raise
thy finger at us and we would wag
our coat-tails with much waggery;
when thou wouldst be our ,boss and
we ou "ld be thy bosses; when thou
would take snuff and wa would
sneeze;`vhen thou would eat onions
and our breath would be strong; when
thou would appoint a nigger to of-
f ice now and then and we would smell
f
likewise. THE HORNET has -said before that •
i
We axe wagging our coat-tails, we the Abolition party of a half cen-r Poin
are sneezing, our breath is strong tury ats
go might Dave been cut for awo'
with onions, wo smell like niggers party of right and justice, ftt- the An Arkansas woman bus cremated
I appothted to office, but thou, Dear Devil has long since stolen the pattern her third husband. It seems twfair
I Gam, art not presiding at the pie and ran off with it. The common peo- that some should be old maids while
counter With any great degree of ple now affiliating with the G. 0. P.
others have husbands to burn.
dignity. On this point we are ex- are following a smear of political
ceedingly disappointed. `We are good jackal; who have turned their temple A "Charity Dinngr" is a humbug
republicans, -and thou shouldest know, into a den of thief„es. And ---where is affair in which the rich propose to
(
U. We don't want to be anything, the honest republican Nebo will openly feed the poor by getting together
except a republican. We don't know',,attempt to scourge the G. 0. P. tem- and gating the grub themselves,
how to be anything else. We'd cath- f plc of its rascality ? 0
er carry a torch in a republican pa- ; THE HORNET for a long time has Cincinnati bandit kisus pretty girl.
rade than to own a township in Hear : been scenting something in the politi- then rats her. And then some people
yen. We'd rather wear a G. O. P. cal pantry that is anything besides have the nerve to say that you can't
tin rooster in our hat than to own; pies and pancakes. Vine want to say, mix business with pleasure.
Aw
cattle on a thousand hills. l and we are going to say it openly
Now, in conclusion, Dear eadzY', ; andabove board, that the rank and One thing that makes us sore -at
we shall look for a change in the' file of both old panties aj°e brothers the Turks is that they won't believe
early future --a change that will in the bread and butter battha ihat we are the sainted Christians' we
bring us the political fruits of our is getting harder to fight as time keep telling them we are.
labors in the G. 0. P. vineyard. Thou, goes on. THE HORNET believes that
Master Harding, art the keeper of the common cusses of both paz•ties A young man confessed that he
our G. 0. P. grape farm, and we want are making a colossal mistake by fol- forced an entrance to a church to
you to get busy. With eyes single' the garbage wagon o f f;ne }gig steal a violin. He will have to me- d
and ears itching for news of the! rich. Common people should work 'to- his ways if he wants to get a harp,
kind desired we close. Amen. � •Instead-
gmeth�e� fog the common good.
of dividing up and fighting and The Denver seer's discovery that
PAT & MIKE WERE MISTAKEN. scratching each other they should f henry Ford is the reincarnation of
y band together -and work togetilel•, us I Tut -Ankh -.Amen explains why the old
-Two Irishmen were called on to act ? the big rich do. I king's chariot is still fn running or-
as pall -bearers at a funeral. They So long as the big ric h keep the der.
started out with their heads down, people trudging slung with their
but after going past the first street heads down like Pat and Mike in the i � •
corner one says. l above joke there is no relief forth-
"Pat,
i z a tank. I � ,• I
Pat, such a d v 1 of s coming. Just loop up friends and you
Fletcher s F armmg
can hardly keep me head down.” will sae that the real pr.- 2ession has Is a monthly farm journal that is
Mike says, "don't spoil the ossa- left you long ago, and you are only l different. Yt deals in a free-lance
sion by raising your head." following the stink -wagon of pre-- 1 manner with the political, Social,
Another block and Pat says: Judice and deceit. economical and moral phases of rural
"Be'assus tha stink is awful. Let's
� � ®_ life, as well as the problems of pro -
both raise our heads." A Chicago doctor has been assess-
And they did, and behold the fu- duction.
fed $20,000 for stealing a kiss from year, $1.00; four years to one ad -
neral procession had turned a cornerI T o ,
p a ba a- l a pretty nux se. And now he l.n ti� s !ares, $2.00; in clubs of 4 or more
as they were following gray• ge vv why honesty is the best policy.
50c each for one year. Address:
gen. «�-----
This illustrates to perfection the Wdrld to be flooded with ancient FLETCHEWS FARMING,
rank and file folk in the Republican Egyptian styles resulting from dis- Hondo, Texas.
party who started out sixty years eovery of Tut-Ankh-Amen's tom.. P. S. You can have both FLETCH-
ago with an organization headed by, From now on, in order to be jp-to- er's FARMING and THE HORNET
Abe Lincoln that respected the rights + date, you'll have to look as if you f one year for only $1.00 by asking for
of humanityand freed the ne ro.1 were dead 3,000 years. is. Address either paper.
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SUBSCRIPTI OY- B 1,, A N K.
THE HORNET,
MocksviIie, N. C. _
■ Dear Editor:
ii Find enclosed $---------- for whiv;h Bene THE HORNET one year to each name and address given be-
low. It is understood that this club will apply toward any premium that THE HORNET is offering for •w) -
scribers. Send receipt for this club and amount of remittance.
Yours truly,
a.._ _-.W__-_----__---.__- __ __----Club Ral"_.
■
-------------- ----__-_Pvdt Office
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---------- Stott
(j NAME j POST OFFICE ST. OR R. F. I). STATE
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