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Hornet 1915 4Signs of unrest are never noticed at a popular loafing place. Some of the weather bureau's worst predictions come true. Among the common mental dis- eases include cold feet. Patience is a virtue when it is pos- sessed by our creditors. "The more the merrier" well when applied tp war. War, it is observed, is more and more a shell game Genuine civilization is not the kind women and childen have reason to fear. Berlin announces that "bread is going down." That is the general di- rection it is taking in this country also. Young persons will kindly note with approval that the government urges the tulip as suitable treatment for parks. loesn't St The i shirts that the becoming wisdom. f Y Nobody objects to "broken English" when it voices solid American senti- , ment. Sometimes the man who likes peace most fights hardest when war comes, Man, every time ;set advertisement, 'not a woman. he looks at a cor-' rejoices that he to Shooting the ferocious clay pigeon ie another way of accustoming a citt- zenry to arms. Men would better stop sneering at woman's styles or woman may resur- rect the bustle. I Now that Venice is among the first !points of attack, they ought to mobil- ise the gondolas. What has become of the old-fash- ,toned girl who wanted a young man with a mustache? Human nature is always the same. Furthermore, it couldn't be changed to satlefy everybody. A woman gets relief from tears. A ,man chokes a few times and finally swallows his emotions. There are people so ill tempered I ,they would try to slam the gate shut Af they got into heaven. "Golden" shoe buttons are the latest fashion fad, but most girls won't have the "brass" to wear them. A Harvard professor says that he Chas discovered a substitute for sleep - Estill, sleep is not unpleasant to take. Probably the undertaker would never Eget busy with some people if the jt were ;to live until they had acquired wisdom. Damp days are indeed melancholy to the man who hes just invested sevens hard dollars in a new panama ghat. neoming fashion of low -neck will find some men insisting Adam's apple is the seat of ou may have noticed that the ma- jority of husbands look as if the wom- en they belong to didn't take very good care of them. England's new solicitor general is said to owe his place to sheer ability. 1 its should greatly encourage a host of country editors. When your enemy smites you on one cheek you can turn the other, but :when he slams you on the nose, what -is the biblical thing to do? People may sympathize with a man who makes a fool of himself occa- sionally, but not with one who insists on giving a continuous performance. Woman barbers will never become .popular with men. They can't forget the sorry scrape old man Damson got into by going to a woman for a hair- cut. After the war the people will need much romance and many stories of love in quiet places to get their minds and hearts in tune with beauty ,and sentiment. Astronomical experts say that the Mellish comet has been breaking up If t1:is is a sign that the «var is go- ing to do likewise, the comet is to be highly commended for leading in the movement.. A genius has invented a piano that weighs only 120 pounds. rMe tired papa who wants to rest and read can throw that sized piano into the back yard when Julie Ann persists in pounding it. After devoting forty years and a for- tune to experiments in perpetual mo- tion, a Michigan man has died in an insane asylum. All motion ceases some time --even the wheels in the head of the inventor. An American who has made a pro. f ession of collecting botanical speci- mens says he believes that certain flowers and plants can see and that their perfume is their song. There are a lot of sensitive people who don't think much of the song of the onion. FIRST AID. The patient writhed in the chair. Anger made his face crimson, but the rubber dam in his mouth prevented speech. The dentist stepped quickly into hie laboratory and came back with a placard which he hung up on the wall high enough to be seen by the patient in his semirecumbent position. On the card were printed in bold type half a dozen lines of profanity that fairly' sizzled. "Is that how you feel?" asked the dentist, sympathetically. The patient nodded his head. "Well, keep your eyes on the cardo I'll soon be through." First Aid. "Hey," yelled. the man in room 606 through the phone. "Well?"' asked the busy hotel cleric. "If the woman in the neat room is singing, move me to the fifteenth floor; if she's moaning, send a doctor up at once."" True Spellbinding, "'What is your idea of real political greatness?" "Nell,"' replied Senator Sorghum, "these days a than doesn't seem to be considered a really great politician until he can keep a crowd interested, without Mwiug a, word about politics." WISE KID - -r Mamma --Now, Harold, at the party If anyone asks you to have some thing, you must say, "Yes, thank you,'' and if you don't want it you must say— Harold—Don't bother, mamma, I don't expect to refuse anything. A Quick Response. Alas, to think how many fall And lay the blame on fate, Who, when they hear temptation as& Don't even hagitate!