Hornet 1915 3be continued. The G. O. P. elephant
has assaulted the Goddess of Liberty.
He stole the scales of poor, blind
.Justice and for 16 long years tram-
pled them under the dust.
According to Roosevelt in 1912
Republicanism, the elephant and all,
should be in the Rogue's Gallery for
.all time.
Whenever a submarine bobs up a
warship seems to go down.
The mere crack of a, smile often de-
velops into a sidesplitting laugh.
You can never tell when a trust is
not a trust until after it has been in-
dicted.
There may be occasions when the
best peace maxim is the sort Sir Hiram
Invented.
Isn't it remarkable how wrathy
rulers become when the wicked enemy
rebombards ?
An American has invented a hu -
inane bullet. Who wants to be ex-
perimented upon?
Even though a man is not brilliant
he can get along pretty well if he
has common sense.
Anyway, the war has lasted long
enough to make a big peace story
when hostilities end.
At all, events the dove of peace to
mot to be classed among the evil birds
that come home to roost.
A botanist says flowers can hate.
Perhaps the language of flowers in-
cludes some strong epithets.
What has become of the old-fash-
toned speed enthusiasts who consid-
ered a bicycle race thrilling?
The Germans are maintaining the.
captured town of Zale Szczyky, keep
Ing all its consonants intact
We never saw an aching void, but its
wast look something like a bathi�tg
cult that is hanging on a clothesline.
Serbia harveeto her crops and thea,
resumes fighting. Few nations succeed
to not letting war break up businem
That is a beautiful thought about; ,
IdIence. _ being golden, but we never i
heard very many women rave over it. I
i
It is hard for the fellow who goes
tato anotherman's land to fight to
prove that he didn't start the trouble. }
Of course those high school girls
who so proudly made their grade$
tion gowns will keep up the good
work?
A Californian was struck oy tignT,-
ning while practicing on a cornet.
Who says there is no such thing as
justice in the world?
Why does no altruist say a kind
word for the toad? He is quiet, inof-
fensive, friendly and h(; has a vora-
cious appetite for mosquitoes.
Despite the name, the crash suit is
comparatively noiseless, although the
same can�lot always be said of the
socks, tie and shirt worn with it.
bets*11 ny,uy Love a shii:inb mark, but
Cie f=ist that the idiot who rocks the
toc t c::.cal.,es proves that it
(�jesn't ltt_� cessarilti- love a soft c:ie.
111�1'� ul'0 IiJ t".=:;. I-TOPCsals III tht-;
ar inau- - ratcd o1J Lhe by and the
n.:":=:;uit0- On the contrary-, ;he most
hunlane iii sist oa war to the death
Scientists say there are one thun-
dred and eleven kinds of suakes in the
United States. Even the worst old
soak in town cannot expect to see 'em
all.
According to the statisticians, ev.
ery man, woman and child in this
country is supposed to have $1,965,.
which makes us just about $1,964.70
short.
An advantage the farmer's wife has
I
over the town man's wife is that the
farmer husband always responds'
promptly to the 'thrilling appeal of the,
dinner bell.
Scientists declare that the heat re.
ceived from the sun varies as much'
as ten per cent, but this has no ef.
fest on its power to raise crops and
produce freckles.
About the only noticeable difference
between being in moderate circum-
stances and being poor is that in the.
former case the things you want but
can't afford are a little more expen-
sive.
One of the first things some of the
men who talk about going back to the
farm would do, if they ever got there,
would be to ask for the button that
starts the plow across the daisy-scent-
ed
aisy-scented field.
The children, especially the babies,
should not be forgotten in this hot
weather, which means suffertng and
often death to so many of them. Now
Is the time for practical charity to
show its real worth.
The advice to walk or push some-
thing, if one wants to live long after
forty, will prove unlucky for the
suburbanite. In addition to the exer-
cise of catching trains, he will be
more a slave than ever to the lawn
mower.
May Have Started Him.
"I wonder, how Columbus got the
idea that the world was round9"
"I don't know that there is anything
remarkable about his deductions. Any
man along in middle age begins to get
the idea that the world is not ex,
actly square."
Her idea.
"See those fine folding beds, ms
dam," said the gushing salesman
"They speak for themselves."
"Oh, indeed," replied the woman;
"I thought they were made to shu;
up.9f
Judging From Looks.
Patience—She doesn't look 11ke 4
girl who would marry for money.
Patrice No, she doesn't look like 4
girl that anyone would want to marry
at all.
Up -to -Date Neighbor,
Mrs. Myles—Is she living in an up,
to -date neighborhood?
Mrs. Styles—Oh, my, yes. Why
there ate twenty lap -dogs, but not
baby carriage on the block.
AT THE EMIGRANT PIER.
He—My, but that woman from
Switzerland is freckled!
She—Yes; sort of erg–er--"dotted
Swiss," as it were.
Wouldn't You t
How sad this good old world would ba
If cranks alone could run -iti
Forsooth, it choice were left to ma,
rm vwT sura I'd shun it.
Easily Explained.
"I ran across your old friend 8raith
the other day."'
"How did it happen?"
"He wouldn't get out of the was`
when I blew my horn." i
Mean Suggeatlon.
"Don't interrupt nay meditations. I,
have just started on a new train of
thought."
••wi* a dummy engin% I Dom"f